Each of our grandkids is a unique treasure. Even as babies, we can see their personalities. But when contact is through a computer screen, it’s hard to get to know them. As a result, video chats may feel uncomfortable and conversation at times, a real effort! So, how can long-distance grandparents find the key to their grandkid’s heart?
“GETTING TO KNOW YOU”
These lyrics from the musical, “The King and I,” describe the perfect way to begin (I love musicals!).
“Getting to know you
Getting to know all about you
Getting to like you
Getting to hope you like me.”
Each new thing we learn about our grands gives us one more clue to find their heart. This very special treasure hunt will help lead us to ways we can relate more naturally together.
For example, let’s say your grandchild loves anything robot related. Now that’s a great clue! There’s so much you’ll be able to do together, even on FaceTime! You can read stories about robots, each draw your own version of them, or construct robots out of paper towel rolls and tape. That’s way more fun than just sitting in front of a screen.
CHANNELING YOUR INNER DETECTIVE
Although collecting clues about you grandchild’s likes and dislikes is harder to do on FaceTime than in person, here are some things to try:
ASK THE PARENTS – Parents usually know their kids best. So, either by text or phone call, ask them about your grand’s current favorite toy/book/song (or anything else that’s relevant).
CONSIDER AGE – Having realistic expectations goes a long way to understanding your grandchild. Checking out children’s developmental milestones is really helpful to know when your interacting with them.
HAVE A SHOW AND TELL – Ask your grand to bring one special object to your video chat. Or perhaps, you show them 3 or 4 different objects, and ask them which is their favorite. Then, see if they can figure out which one is yours!
PLAY A THINKING GAME – Start out a conversation with an open-ended question such as, “If you could eat anything for dinner what would it be, and where would you like to eat it?”
STEP AWAY FROM THE TABLE – Just sitting at a table for video chats is pretty tough for most kids. Try out a new location now and then like a play area or bedroom, with parents close by if needed. When hanging out in their comfortable space, kids are more relaxed. Begin by just watching them play. You’ll learn a lot. Then ask questions about what they’re doing. Let it flow as naturally as possible.
DISCOVER THE TREASURE INSIDE YOUR LONG-DISTANCE GRANDCHILD
After you’ve collected the clues, you’ll have a clearer picture of your grandchild. With each step, you’re also sending them the message that who they are really matters to you. Try to keep in mind that building a connection will take time, no matter the age. There will most likely be some frustrating moments, so plan on lots of trial and error. Just don’t give up hope. One day, you could be rewarded with a giggle and a smile! Or as the song says:
“Haven’t you noticed
Suddenly I’m bright and breezy?
Because of all the beautiful and new
Things I’m learning about you
Day by day.”
Do you feel like this has been a long winter or WHAT?! My northern granddaughter and I often check out the weather through each other’s windows when we videochat, and it seems like we’re always talking about SNOW! So I searched online for a fun snow-themed project that we could enjoy virtually. Many online mamas and teachers offer up creative ideas for building snowmen while you stay warm inside. The main ingredient? The timeless cottonball. Here’s how you and your grands can use cottonballs along with simple household items to “build” a colorful snowman together via videochat. But that’s just the beginning. You can add elements to create anticipation and connection over the following days or weeks.
The Adventure Starts with a Good Story
Our winter snowman project started with Sneezy the Snowman by Maureen Wright read virtually, of course. The story goes like this: Sneezy the Snowman has a problem. He’s always cold, so he sneezes a lot. He tries to warm himself up with hot cocoa and then a cozy fire. But, oh no, Sneezy! He melts from the heat, and his friends have to rebuild him. They also try to warm him up with clothes including a scarf, a hat and a jacket.
The story’s themes of friendship and problem-solving work well with toddlers through kindergartners. There are even some basic “science” concepts to chat about like hot and cold, freezing and melting. So, creating a cottonball, Sneezy the Snowman and dressing him to keep him warm, is a perfect partner for this sweet story.
Easy Peasy and Fun’s Cottonball Snowman
A Visit to Savta’s Fabric Closet
So after reading the story, we “went” to my fabric closet downstairs as I flipped the phone camera back and forth. Together we looked out my window to see that I had “some” snow. My granddaughter realized we were both looking out our windows, and exclaimed that she had even more!
Then I opened the closet door filled with my fabric stash. Organized by colors, we “toured” different palettes and patterns. First, we selected one fabric for Sneezy’s scarf, another for his hat and another one for his jacket. I cut pieces of each chosen fabric, and showed her the pieces that I would send her.
A Tale of Two Packages: One to Send, One to Keep
Next, I put together two sets of supplies. One to mail to my granddaughter and one for me to use during our snowmen video chat. I rummaged through my crafts box to fill a “build a snowman “box. You can personalize it with things like the following:
Fun paper (construction paper, wrapping paper or from an old wallpaper book) for a background
A paper bowl or plate to make a “standing up” snowman
Cottonballs, regular or mini size
Colorful pipe cleaners, yarn, buttons, ribbons
Fabric scraps from old clothes or sheets
Fuzzy balls
Part of egg carton (3 adjacent “egg holders” to put the cottonballs, optional)
Popsicle sticks
White glue (with a cotton swab for spreading)
Inside the package, I tucked in a note with the plan and a picture of Sneezy the Snowman.
Winter Project Anticipation
Next came the phone calls and video chats about when the package would arrive. After it was delivered, we talked about when to start. We settled on an afternoon the following weekend. She was so excited. As you’ve probably experienced, talking about a project or an event can be almost as much fun as doing it! And of course, the younger the child, the harder “future time” is to grasp (like how about NOW?!)
The Project Unfolds Over Videochat
Best laid plans… wIth all the supplies ready on my end for an afternoon video chat, the call to get started actually came hours before, while I was still in bed! I threw on my bathrobe, and was downstairs at my craft table in a flash. As we long-distance grandparents know, when the grandchildren are ready, we will be, too!
Here are some snowman-making ideas that we used, that you can, too!
Decide if this will be a “standing” snowman or if he/she will be flat on a background paper. Pick a background paper or paper bowl/plate. Build your snowman from the bottom up.
Use white glue (a Q-tip works well) to glue cottonballs to each other to form larger “balls” – 2 or 3 and stack them with glue. (You can use part of an egg carton to keep the round shape).
Add body parts: Ask the child what he/she would like to use for eyes, nose, mouth, arms, etc.
Dress your snowmen! What kind of scarf or hat would be fun? What color? How about a jacket? (Ideas from Sneezy the Snowman).
Read the story with your new snowmen and change up the outfits with different fabrics.
Talk about snowmen you’ve seen in your neighborhood.
Creations Beyond Snowmen
When my granddaughter was all done, she noticed that there were still plenty of decorations leftover. So, she started another project. Using letters as the base for her new creation, she encouraged me to do the same! With leftover supplies, it’s fun to see where the grandkids take us with their imaginations. And don’t forget the hot cocoa and selfies!
For many of us, December’s going to be pretty quiet this year. We might not get to see our grandkids, and that’s a pretty big deal. There’s also the small things I know I’m going to miss, like shopping at holiday times, for instance. I’ll miss the atmosphere, the store displays and the browsing. Truth be told, COVID19 has put a quite a kink in all of our holidays, including our grandkids. So what can long-distance grandparents do to help? I’m thinking a little enhancement of FaceTime is in order. Let’s turn that regular chat into a mini virtual home shopping spree. So roll up your sleeves, throw open those closet doors, display cases and plastic containers. We’re going to take the grandkids on a holiday gift hunt!
Virtual Home Shopping with Grandkids
First, a few thoughts about why this kind of remote holiday gifting can be so special.
It’s a nice opportunity to share your interests and passions.
Kids love to make their own decisions, so what could be better than choosing their own gift(s)?
You’re a living instruction book who can explain how to use the gift or take care of it.
You’ll get to see your grandchild enjoy something that you’ve enjoyed. (Note: I got that idea from my mother).
Finding home treasures for gifting
For a virtual home gift hunt, you need… things that could be gifts! I stumbled on one source by accident. My grandkids and I happened to be going on one of our virtual home tours during a FaceTime chat. We “entered” my art room. WOW! Talk about excited. “This is better than Michaels!”, they exclaimed. In an instant, I transformed myself into the Vanna White of art supplies. Drawers were opened and shelves were explored. What was their favorite, you might ask? Answer: the bead boxes.
So many beads! So many colors! After a quick parental approval check, I laid out the boxes on my art table so they could choose their beads. Using my cell phone, I slowly scanned each box. In very serious tones, they directed me to the beads they wanted. As each bead was chosen, it was carefully set aside. Afterwards, I sent their prized beads, along with some beading string, in the mail. Success!
What I learned right out of the gate is that the things we use without thinking, might be treasures to our grandkids. Carrie, for example, is an avid quilter. Quilting is pretty synonymous with fabric saving. Now, can you imagine how much fun it might be to go on a fabric shopping spree with Savta (grandma), even if it’s remotely? In the hands of her grandkids those fabrics could be anything from dress-up clothes, craft supplies or basic tent material.
So think about what you do. Then consider what you use to do.
Just remember, whatever kinds of things you pick for your virtual home shopper, keep in mind age appropriateness and get parental approval.
Gifts from your collections
Another great source for virtual home shopping is your collections. I happened to be very fortunate to receive my mother-in-law, Frances’s, huge collection of second hand jewelry. To be sure, it was the stuff of legends! Because of her tireless efforts, many friends, former coworkers and local charity organizations own some fun, zany, “Franny” jewelry. Although I gave a great deal away, one of the things I did set aside was a large group of her pins (the photo is a selection). I had my grandkids in mind.
Now clearly, this collection is for older grandkids who can safely enjoy using the pins. But, let me tell you, I just can’t wait until my grands are ready for me to share them. In fact I’ve even discovered lots of ways the pins can be used when the time comes.
So what kinds of collections do you have? Need ideas? Here are some items to consider for gifting:
scarves, hats, gloves or shoes for dressing up
collectables like figurines, tea pots, snow globes, holiday items, comic books, travel souvenirs or trophies
books of special interest
a musical instrument you’re no longer using
pretty much anything else, let your grandkids be the guide
Wrapping it up
WIth holiday plans most likely changed this year, we’re all looking for alternative ways to connect with our long-distance grands. I hope you’ll have fun with this idea! My guess is it will be memorable.
Do you have any other ideas for a virtual shopping trip? Please let us know!
One final word. Virtual home shopping can be done at anytime. You could even start out with something fun in 2021!
Will you be dining on turkey and memories this Thanksgiving? For the past three Thanksgivings, we visited kids and grands in three different states. Each one holds memories of anticipation, travel delays, cooking marathons and satisfying feasts. Our Remote Thanksgiving 2020 will be much quieter. This year, we’ll be mixing new ideas with old favorites: A remote Thanksgiving mocktail hour, pumpkin bread, a few family members via zoom. We are swapping a deli platter for turkey, coleslaw instead of sweet potatoes and mustard for cranberry sauce. For this Gramps and Savta, Thanksgiving 2020 will definitely be different!
In the spirit of resilience and half-full glasses, I’m sharing a cornucopia of treats and ideas to link generations during Thanksgiving 2020, including ways I’m expressing my gratitude and counting our blessings.
Share Favorite Thanksgiving recipes
Here are two of my favorite Thanksgiving recipes that span generations. You can enjoy making these “together while apart” or on your own.
Gratitude Pumpkin Bread Recipe
This pumpkin bread recipe was created by a much loved family friend, Phyllis, and makes three generous loaves. As it bakes, the house fills with sweet, spicy smells. I can picture her beautiful smile. An hour ago, I shipped off pumpkin bread loaves to our kids and grands.
Created in 1982, the synagogue cookbook with this recipe is full of appreciation and gratitude for a group of loving, talented women, including my mom. I love to read the inscriptions.
Thanksgiving Stuffing Recipe with Apples and Chestnuts – Vegetarian
Created by Mim, this amazing Chestnut-Apple Thanksgiving stuffing’s secret ingredients are homemade croutons and apple cider. She’s been making this in our family since she was 10 years old. For Thanksgiving 2019, this recipe was made with siblings in different cites. Instead of eating together, we shared the photos.
Mim’s Chestnut and Apple Stuffing
6 cups cubed country-style or sour dough bread. Season with salt, pepper, garlic, drizzle the olive oil
Make bread cubes (we do them a day ahead): Preheat oven to 350°F. Bake seasoned bread cubes with olive oil on 2 sheet pans (middle or upper oven rack) for about 15 minutes. Hide them where no one will snack on them.
In a large skillet, cook leeks and celery in olive oil, covered until softened. Stir occasionally. Add sage, apples, 1/2-1 teaspoon salt, 1/2 teaspoon pepper and cook, covered for a few more minutes. Stir occasionally. Then add chestnuts and pour apple cider over the mixture. Cook a few more minutes. Add parsley and bread cubes and toss to finish. Transfer to a large bowl to toss with bread cubes if skillet is not large enough. Spread stuffing mixture into a 9″ x 13″ pan or shallow casserole dish.
Bake uncovered at 375°F for about 30 minutes until top is a little crispy and golden. Cover and keep warm until ready to serve.
Below, our southern daughter-in-law shows off our scrumptious creation.
Since Thanksgiving is about gratitude, I plan to do a session from Yoga with Adrienne that my northern daughter-in-law shared with me. As you might guess, Adrienne’s free yoga class this week is called Gratitude Yoga. An internationally known teacher, Adrienne’s philosophy is quite simple: Find What Feels Good. She has a library of free YouTube classes for all abilities.
Watching Adrienne is like inviting an old friend into your living room. You can use the video chat aids found here on our blog with grands to watch Adrienne’s YouTubes together while apart. Or, each can watch on your own, and later enjoy chatting about Adrienne’s dog, her downhome Texas style, and her down dogs. Try it! You’ll be grateful you did.
Share Your Heart: Feed the Hungry
In these challenging times, I feel so fortunate to have food on our tables. More importantly, we have access to healthy food. Yet, right in our backyards, many people – many children – do not. After hearing on NPR about the sharp increase in families with children with food insecurity, you will see why this has become a priority for me during COVID. Additionally, this is a great discussion topic with kids and grandkids. How can they share with others?
We can each make a difference with even $1, $5 or $10. That’s Thanksgiving. That’s connection. Discussing worthwhile charities is a chance to share values. At the same time, reviewing charity ratings* teaches how to evaluate where limited resources can be used most wisely. (*Ratings can change monthly).
Share Your Talent: A Remote Thanksgiving 2020 Quilting Project
Thanksgiving Day will be the perfect chance to take out the old colorful ties and get to work. We’ll reminisce about where my dad liked to wear each tie. Now, we get to create something new. Having the kids pick out their favorite ties via FaceTime is another way to connect across the miles. As timeless treasures, these will make great gifts. I can’t wait to see the finished products!
Give, Enjoy, Change it Up: Be Safe!
So, what do all these Remote Thanksgiving 2020 activities and memories have in common? They are all ways to process the change that is before us, to be creative and also stay connected while being safe. Helping our grands to be resilient and positive, to thank those we love, and to give to those in need is what Thanksgiving is about.
When I discovered the game, OuiSi®, I just knew it was going to be one of my favorites! OuiSi® is a game about making connections. It’s perfect for long-distance grandparenting because that’s what we do! It can also be played in a variety of ways, which is a real plus for adapting to our video chats.
What is OuiSi®?
OuiSi® (pronounced, “wee-see,” meaning “Yes”, in French and Spanish, of course) is a box game with 210 beautifully photographed cards. Most are easily visible on a video chat. Each one is carefully composed with a fresh view of common objects. Moreover, these intriguing photos seem to invite you take a closer look, as if you’re using a magnifying glass.
As you can tell from earlier posts, reading with our grands is truly one of my favorite activities. Recently, my mom shared an article about a new children’s book, The Wild Symphony by Dan Brown, (also known for The DaVinci Code), reviewed in the New York Times. I was intrigued. So, of course, ⌨ click-click-click on Amazon. My three-year old granddaughter received it two days later. Fortunately, this book is also available at public libraries. Many reads and recommendations later, it’s unanimous: The Wild Symphony hits a high note with grandkids. Here’s why…
I had been on the hunt for fun Halloween activities when I got a text from my friend, Lori Manoogian, that stopped me in my tracks. She sent me an ebooklet from a creative art series she’s working on, “Beyond Words.” Her new addition? Little Monster marvels! I was so excited. Perhaps my Halloween activity search was over. This would be great for long-distance grandparents to do with their grands! Lori graciously agreed, and is offering a free download for our Smiles Beyond Miles readers.
Getting to Know the Artist/Author
Lori is a multi-talented artist, who is also an amazing teacher. We got to know each other when she taught for our Lifelong Learning department at Anne Arundel Community College. Her students adored her, and it was no surprise. Her passion for teaching was obvious, and her enthusiasm contagious. The instructional handouts she created for each class were legendary. They were always fun, colorful, and easy to follow. Lori designed our logo for Smiles Beyond Miles, too!
The ebooklet, “Beyond Words: Little Monsters” continues her earlier work. It’s a step-by-step guide to drawing one-of-a-kind mini monsters. We’ll tell you how to use the booklet in a bit. But first, Lori, in her own words.
A Chat with Lori Manoogian
Me: Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?
Lori: I am a mixed media artist, which is a fancy term for someone who is creative but can’t make up their mind:). Although I’m a graphic designer by trade, I’m also a glass fusing artist, Zentangle® instructor, and jewelry designer. I love hand lettering and creating useful artsy things: however, my greatest joy is teaching others.
My favorite thing to hear? “I can’t believe I just made that!”
Me: What inspired you to develop a series of ebooklets designed to make art accessible for people young and old?
Lori: Everyone is creative. Some are creative in the kitchen while others find their creative joy in the garden.
When it comes to putting pen to paper, however, it’s hard to know where to start, so I made these little lessons during the early stages of quarantine to give my friends and family something fun to try. I realized that while some wanted to practice hand lettering techniques, there were others that just loved the tiny drawings. It was fun to see my 35 year-old niece and her 5 year-old daughter creating from the same lesson with completely different artwork.
Me: Do you have any special hints for long-distance grandparents when using the “Little Monsters Mini Lesson?”
Lori:
First and foremost, make it fun. Fun. Silly. Fun. Follow along with the first “Build a Monster” steps with your grandchild, making sure yours is equally as childlike:).
Giggle along the way as you make believe. “Oh, my monster has silly eyeballs, I think I’ll name him Goofy.”
Ask questions. “What does your monster eat? Mine likes moldy bread.” Sometimes it can start unexpected conversations. “My monster is friendly but doesn’t like to share. Does your monster like to share?”
Cut out and tape monster (parent could help do this) on a Popsicle stick. Together you can act out a little monster show.
You know your grandchild best. If they want to continue and draw another monster, do that! If they would rather act out another monster scene, do that! It’s all about your time together.
Additional Thoughts on Halloween Fun: Little Monster Marvels
The supplies you use for your little monsters are very simple. Lori spells everything out in her ebooklet.
Older grands can draw for themselves, young ones might need a little assist. Here are several options:
Young children love to color. So, if they’re too young to follow the directions, you could create a monster drawing and email a photo for parents to print! Then, the grands can color as they like.
Begin by asking your grands to choose each element of the monster. You draw the monster for them, and then follow the previous steps so they can color it in (that’s the idea I followed for my younger grandchild).
Or, you could just ask them to pick out each element, draw it yourself while they’re watching , and then talk about it. For example, “What’s the monster’s name?” or “Where does your monster live?”
In any case, you’ll find using the gooseneck arm mount for your phone a great help for this activity!
In Appreciation
Thanks so much to my grandkids who created our featured image and had a blast doing it.
And, many thanks again to Lori Manoogian for sharing this wonderful, creative, Halloween activity with all of our grands. Please let us know if you try it out, and send photos!
With all the art supplies I’ve accumulated, it’s ironic that one of my favorite things to use is as close as my hand. Literally. And for anyone who feels, not so confident in their artistic ability, fingers can be better than brushes! Ask your grandkids: they naturally use them all the time! What do they know that we may have forgotten? Long-distance grandparents – creativity is at your fingertips!
Let’s start with a basic fingerprint. By itself, it’s a lovely oval shape. But, if we add just a few lines and then play with color and repetition, we open up a whole new world. Our fingerprints can become animals or plants or imaginary thing-a-ma-jigs. They’re also perfect for video chats with our grands, because the shapes are simple and the lines are easy to see. And, I’ll show you how to use them for games, too! Read more
Growing up, my son thought it was hilarious when he did an impression of my expressive hand movements when I talk. I’d like to think that Charles Caleb Colton’s quote, “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery,” applied to his antics. But, I’m not so sure that was his goal. Years later, however, I would be treated to an example of true-blue flattery from my son’s very own daughter! Through imitation, my long-distance grandchild transformed herself from student to teacher. And it’s hard to get more flattering than that!
It all began in the weeks just before COVID19 brought traveling to a full stop. I was so lucky to get to visit my son and his family. During our visit, my granddaughter and I went to a local coffee shop together. What a special treat it was for both of us! Over tea and a little nosh (snack), I taught her some of the basics of Zentangle®, a meditative art form I teach. I taught her things like how to draw slowly in simple patterns, and a few ways to play with shapes. We had a wonderful time and she seemed so proud of everything she drew.
Long-DIstance Grandkid: From Student to Teacher
When I returned home, I continued to teach her during our video chats. She paid close attention as I drew, and with pencil in hand carefully followed each direction I gave. Read more
Grandparents, we have lots to offer our grands when it comes to reading! Given our experiences, we can help them navigate the route to fun and engaging reading. With our school-age grandkids, virtual storytime is like a partnership. I like to call it, “read-sharing.” Put another way, vIrtual read-sharing is like Uber. And, virtual read-sharing with school-age grands delivers smiles beyond the miles.
For tips about reading with school-age kids, I turned to my daughter-in-law up north (nDIL), master teacher and elementary school reading specialist extraordinaire. For bonding at a distance with reading, I checked in with my mom and cherished long distance grandparent. Read more
