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Long distance grandparents wordle

Happy Mother’s Day Catch Up

Happy Mother’s Day! Today is for you, whether you’re a mother, a mother-in-law, a grandmother or reuniting with a mom whom you haven’t seen since before COVID. Or, maybe you are remembering a mother? Perhaps you’re also  enjoying watching a new mom fall in love with her new baby or passing wisdom to a growing child? However you celebrate Mother’s Day, I hope you enjoy savoring old memories and making new ones.

Many generations for Mother's Day

Whether it’s FaceTime, landline or snail mail: CALL A MOM !  And, if you feel so inclined, check out these links and consider donating to a charity of your choice to help mom’s in India:  Help India During COVID.

Catching Up

So, it’s been a while since Dawn and I have posted. Well, you could say that Dawn and I have had a bit of COVID fatigue.  And, ahem….we’ve been a bit preoccupied. First, getting vaccinated yay!!  Then, helping to make sure that our families got vaccines as quickly as permitted. That was a LOT of late night internet juggling. Can you relate?

Mothers Near & Far

Coincidentally, since our last post, Dawn and I have each welcomed a new grandson. Our latest little guy is named for my dad/Zaydie and northern DIL’s Grammie. This tradition of naming a child for a cherished family member is yet another way to link generations into the future. Passing on these names is also a wonderful way to celebrate lives lived. Truly, this is a way to honor “their memories as blessings”. Many, many blessings.

New Long Distance Grandparents Facebook Page!

While our kids were pregnant with expectations, chasing after toddlers and getting vaccinated, Dawn and I were asked to moderate a long-distance grandparents social media site. Currently, this FB community includes close to 500 long distance grandparents from around the world. We have been thinking of and planning ways to link Smiles Beyond Miles with that spirited group. At the same time, we want to provide options for the ways you like to connect.
For a sample of how Long Distance Grandparents Facebook group benefits from connecting with other long distance grandparents facing similar challenges and joys, check out this wordle:
Long distance grandparents wordle
For more info, search Facebook for Long Distance Grandparents and request to join. This is a monitored, private group so you’ll need to answer a few questions. There, you’ll also find more ideas for connecting with grands remotely, art projects from Dawn and fun stories (emotional ones, too) posted by long distance grandparents from Australia to the Netherlands and across the US.

Stay Tuned…

Meanwhile, stay tuned for a new look for our Smiles Beyond Miles blog. As Dawn and I always learn from this blog adventure… delivering content and building our community in creative and efficient ways is a work in progress! Look forward to hearing how you connected on Mother’s Day and every day.
  Cheers and happy connecting to all you mom’s and mom-supporters
Discover the Treasure Inside Your Long-DIstance Grandchild

Discover the Treasure Inside Your Long-Distance Grandchild

Each of our grandkids is a unique treasure. Even as babies, we can see their personalities. But when contact is through a computer screen, it’s hard to get to know them. As a result, video chats may feel uncomfortable and conversation at times, a real effort! So, how can long-distance grandparents find the key to their grandkid’s heart?

“GETTING TO KNOW YOU”

These lyrics from the musical, “The King and I,” describe the perfect way to begin (I love musicals!).

“Getting to know you
Getting to know all about you
Getting to like you
Getting to hope you like me.”

Each new thing we learn about our grands gives us one more clue to find their heart. This very special treasure hunt will help lead us to ways we can relate more naturally together.

For example, let’s say your grandchild loves anything robot related. Now that’s a great clue! There’s so much you’ll be able to do together, even on FaceTime! You can read stories about robots, each draw your own version of them, or construct robots out of paper towel rolls and tape. That’s way more fun than just sitting in front of a screen.

CHANNELING YOUR INNER DETECTIVE

Although collecting clues about you grandchild’s likes and dislikes is harder to do on FaceTime than in person, here are some things to try:

  • ASK THE PARENTSParents usually know their kids best. So, either by text or phone call, ask them about your grand’s current favorite toy/book/song (or anything else that’s relevant).
  • CONSIDER AGE –  Having realistic expectations goes a long way to understanding your grandchild.  Checking out children’s developmental milestones is really helpful to know when your interacting with them.
  • HAVE A SHOW AND TELL – Ask your grand to bring one special object to your video chat. Or perhaps, you show them 3 or 4 different objects, and ask them which is their favorite. Then, see if they can figure out which one is yours!
  • PLAY A THINKING GAME – Start out a conversation with an open-ended question such as, “If you could eat anything for dinner what would it be, and where would you like to eat it?”
  • STEP AWAY FROM THE TABLE – Just sitting at a table for video chats is pretty tough for most kids. Try out a new location now and then like a play area or bedroom, with parents close by if needed. When hanging out in their comfortable space, kids are more relaxed. Begin by just watching them play. You’ll learn a lot. Then ask questions about what they’re doing. Let it flow as naturally as possible.

DISCOVER THE TREASURE INSIDE YOUR LONG-DISTANCE GRANDCHILD

After you’ve collected the clues, you’ll have a clearer picture of your grandchild. With each step, you’re also sending them the message that who they are really matters to you. Try to keep in mind that building a connection will take time, no matter the age. There will most likely be some frustrating moments, so plan on lots of trial and error. Just don’t give up hope. One day, you could be rewarded with a giggle and a smile! Or as the song says:

“Haven’t you noticed
Suddenly I’m bright and breezy?
Because of all the beautiful and new
Things I’m learning about you
Day by day.”
Memories of a Long-Distance Grandchild: Smiles Beyond Miles|Long-Distance Grandparenting. Photo of writer's grandmother, and sisters c.1960"s

Memories of a Long-Distance Grandchild

I love hearing the names grandkids have for their grandparents. There are the traditional ones, descriptive ones, and sweet, endearing ones. Among that long list, however, I think I can confidently say you won’t find many names that include a location. Unbelievably, that’s how my sisters and I referred to our grandparents their whole lives. There was “Grandma and Grandpa from Baltimore” and “Grandma and Grandpa from Chicago”. One pair was local and the other pretty far away. They’ve been on my mind lately. With everything going on, my memories of growing up as a long-distance grandchild might be more relevant now than ever.

On the surface, it seems logical that my sisters and I would have been closer to our grandparents who lived nearby. So, it’s rather ironic that the opposite turned out to be true. Although we saw our local grandparents regularly and celebrated pretty much everything with them, we never felt the same connection as the one we had with our grandparents in Chicago.

So what was missing?

Personality and Passion

As I look back on those days, I realize there were things that clearly stood out about my grandparents from Chicago. One that quickly comes to mind, is just who they were. You know how zany personalities can be the most memorable characters? Well, my Grandma from Chicago was definitely memorable, and also quite a character. She was absolutely unafraid to show you exactly who she was and what she was thinking.

Although her zest for life sometimes went a little over the edge, she was just so much fun. During the “hippie” years, she could outdo anyone half her age. With her apple seed necklace and colorful flowing clothes, she was always right in the middle of the action. And like wacky, warm quicksand, she sucked you right in.  She was our family’s version of “Auntie Mame.”  It didn’t matter that we saw her at best several times a year. You just couldn’t forget her.

My Grandpa from Chicago was less… out there, but shared that same warmth as my grandmother. When we were together, he was full of hugs. Along with his dry sense of humor, he and my grandmother made quite a pair. There was always laughter, loud banter, and not a small amount of drama.

Memories of a Long-Distance Grandparent. Smiles Beyond Miles|Long-Distance Grandparenting. Photo of author's grandparent who are the origin of the post.

Open Communication

For my Chicago grandmother, there was no topic off limits for discussion. That was pretty amazing. We knew she was always ready to answer our questions. Although her advice might have been a little questionable at times, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

When we were teenagers, she discussed challenging topics like sex with us. My Grandma from Chicago not only educated my sisters and me, but all our cousins as well. To be clear, I’m definitely not suggesting this as standard practice for all grandparents. It’s just one of the ways she created an atmosphere of openness and acceptance.

Connection was Priority Number One

We know as long-distance grandparents, that it takes energy and effort to stay connected with our grandkids. But, can you imagine what it was like years ago? Our grandparents just had the mail and regular telephone calls between visits. I marvel now at how well they were able to connect with us on those weekly phone calls. Especially ones with my grandmother!

Throughout the years, she made it her priority to stay close. And that had a lasting impact on all of us.

But it was only a success because of her connection with our mother. They created a solid foundation for our relationships to thrive. In all honesty, my mother didn’t always welcome my grandmother’s persistence and involvement with open arms. However they shared one indestructible belief. It was that distance would never get in the way of our family ties.

Turning Visits into Treasures

I hesitate to bring up visits at a time when many of us aren’t able to see our grands, but I think it’s worth touching on. Growing up, we saw our Chicago grandparents a couple of times a year. Each visit generally lasted a few weeks. And that time frame was key.

Spending that extended time together seems to have left a deeper impression on me than the frequent visits with my local grandparents. When I search my memories of both experiences, it was those long visits I remember the most.

It’s an observation I find so hopeful for us long-distance grandparents.

Memories of a Long-Distance Grandparent. Smiles Beyond Miles|Long Distance Grandparenting. Photo of an old suitcase representing visits to grandkids.

Memories of a Long-Distance Grandkid: My Takeaways

As I look forward to 2021 and the hope that we all can travel again, I’ll carry with me the lessons I learned from my Chicago grandparents. They can be helpful whether you live close by or far away.

  • Try and let your hair down. Embrace your silly side, even on video chats.
  • Show grandkids your humanity, and role model ways to accept imperfections.
  • Listen, and be open to talk about topics that may feel out of your comfort zone.
  • Nurture your relationship with their parents to keep connections alive with your grandkids.
  • Use future visits as a time to cement the relationships you have.

Thanks, and Good Wishes

To write this post, my sisters and I did a lot of reminiscing. There were serious moments and also lots of laughter. I thank them so much for their input. I couldn’t have written this without them.

Finally, on behalf of Carrie and I, we send you and your family holiday greetings and best wishes for a happy, healthy year ahead. We’re ready for you, 2021!

An Unexpected Gift for This Long-Distance Grandparent. Photo of a group of walking sticks from branches that were collected by the visiting grandchild.

An Unexpected Gift for This Long-Distance Grandparent

In the midst of the pandemic, my husband and I received an amazing, unexpected gift. It all started with a phone call this summer. Suddenly, the rhythm of our COVID life changed – for the good. My son and his family were coming for a long visit, because work and school had gone online. There are just no words to describe how thrilled I was. This long-distance grandparent was going to be a local Bubbe (grandparent) for one whole month!

Anticipation

A plan was quickly fleshed out. After flying here, they would quarantine for two weeks at our house while we would stay at an Airbnb. Then they would spend a month with my daughter-in-law’s family, and afterwards, a month with us. We were so fortunate that it all went smoothly. Sooner than we could have ever imagined, our time came. Read more

A Game for Long-Distance Grandparenting: OuiSi. Smiles Beyond Miles: Cover photo of a sampling of the games cards.

A Game for Long-Distance Grandparenting: Ousi®

When I discovered the game, OuiSi®, I just knew it was going to be one of my favorites! OuiSi® is a game about making connections. It’s perfect for long-distance grandparenting because that’s what we do! It can also be played in a variety of ways, which is a real plus for adapting to our video chats.

What is OuiSi®?

OuiSi® (pronounced, “wee-see,” meaning “Yes”, in French and Spanish, of course) is a box game with 210 beautifully photographed cards. Most are easily visible on a video chat. Each one is carefully composed with a fresh view of common objects. Moreover, these intriguing photos seem to invite you take a closer look, as if you’re using a magnifying glass.

With that in mind, check these out. Read more

Smiles Beyond Miles: Long-Distance Grandparents- To Go or Not to Go to Grandkids

To Go or Not To Go: Visiting Grands

Like many of you, we have yet to meet our adorable 6-month-old grandchild. I’m obsessed with figuring out the best time to visit him and all our kids and grandkids. Up north. Down south.  Throughout the day, travel questions run through my mind…. Should we rent an RV or fly? To go or not to go visit grands seems to be the question many long-distance grandparents are thinking about.  We want to see these kids, touch their chunky cheeks. Not just on FaceTime!

In July, since it was a reasonable drive, I decided to visit our northern kids and grandkids. Yes, there were many deliberations. In the days before the trip, worries kept popping up. Who am I putting at risk with my visit?  Should I bring my own towels and linens? (I did). Truthfully, once I arrived, the anxiety melted away. As you can imagine, we enjoyed every moment.

In this week’s post, I’ll share travel tips during COVID-19, how I made my decision to do this road trip, and links to advice and other long distance family experiences. Clearly, I am not the only one contemplating visits to long distance grands during COVID-19! Read more

Smiles Beyond Miles: Finding Special Moments Beyond the Miles. Abstract photo illustrating the love at the heart of the connection.

BEYOND THE MILES: SPECIAL MOMENTS WITH LONG-DISTANCE GRANDKIDS

Being a long-distance grandparent, I cherish the moments when I sense a new connection blossoming with my grandkids. These moments appear as sweet surprises and pop up out of nowhere during our regular video chats. In these wondrous moments, the miles between us seem to disappear and I feel the warmth and love of my grandchildren. Because this means so much to me, I began to wonder how other long-distance grandkids create special moments with their grandparents – beyond the long miles.

I decided to check it out with some family and friends. Read more

Smiles Beyond Miles: Virtual Read-sharing with School-aged Grandkids. Photo are the words read books on a lap top.

Virtual Read-sharing With School-age Grands

Grandparents, we have lots to offer our grands when it comes to reading! Given our experiences, we can help them navigate the route to fun and engaging reading. With our school-age grandkids, virtual storytime is like a partnership. I like to call it, “read-sharing.” Put another way, vIrtual read-sharing is like Uber.  And, virtual read-sharing with school-age grands delivers smiles beyond the miles.

For tips about reading with school-age kids, I turned to my daughter-in-law up north (nDIL), master teacher and elementary school reading specialist extraordinaire.  For bonding at a distance with reading, I checked in with my mom and cherished long distance grandparent. Read more

Wrapping Our Way to a Story

Did you know that a roll of ordinary gift wrap can open a world of possibilities for you and your long-distance grandkids? Join me now on a creative journey that begins with a quick glance and an idea. The result: wrapping our way to a story.

One afternoon at home, I happened to be looking around for something to do with my grands on our next video chat.  Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a roll of birthday wrapping paper with dogs in party hats. “Hmmm…”, I thought, “the grandkids love anything with dogs. Maybe we’ll have some fun with this.” We did, and you can, too!

Read more

Smiles Beyond Miles| Long-Distance Grandparenting. Great Accessory for Long-Distance Video Chats. Photo of gooseneck mount arm and the phone it holds.

Great Accessory for Long-Distance Video Chats

As a devoted gadget lover, I’m always looking for the next best thing to make my life easier!  Recently, I was in hot pursuit of something to use for video chats with my long-distance grandkids. I already had a phone tripod that worked great for some of the things we did, but not others. For example, when we tried to play a board game, getting a view of the gameboard was a challenge. For my long-distance video chats to flow more naturally, I needed a flexible set up. So, it was love at first sight when I discovered my new favorite accessory for long-distance video chats, a phone holder gooseneck arm mount!

Using this Accessory for Long-distance Video Chats

The gooseneck arm can hold my phone in a variety of directions. Read more