Like many of you, we have yet to meet our adorable 6-month-old grandchild. I’m obsessed with figuring out the best time to visit him and all our kids and grandkids. Up north. Down south.  Throughout the day, travel questions run through my mind…. Should we rent an RV or fly? To go or not to go visit grands seems to be the question many long-distance grandparents are thinking about.  We want to see these kids, touch their chunky cheeks. Not just on FaceTime!

In July, since it was a reasonable drive, I decided to visit our northern kids and grandkids. Yes, there were many deliberations. In the days before the trip, worries kept popping up. Who am I putting at risk with my visit?  Should I bring my own towels and linens? (I did). Truthfully, once I arrived, the anxiety melted away. As you can imagine, we enjoyed every moment.

In this week’s post, I’ll share travel tips during COVID-19, how I made my decision to do this road trip, and links to advice and other long distance family experiences. Clearly, I am not the only one contemplating visits to long distance grands during COVID-19!

To Go or Not to Go

Is it even safe to travel “there”?

Guidelines and infection rates are always changing. What might be acceptable today may not work or next week.  Conversely, what was terrifying two months ago may be less risky today. Follow trusted health and tracking websites such as this Coronavirus Dashboard. In addition, keep plans flexible.

My summer trip was an 8-10 hour drive. I figured that was doable for a three-day visit. My main concern: Rest stops. Here’s what I did.

 Along the way, I planned stops to get out of my car and walk around without needing to go inside. Quieter side of highway rest stops worked fine.  .

 I brought all my own snacks, enough yogurt and turkey breast for 4 meals and plenty of water. As a back up, I located Panera Curbside sites along my route.

 To avoid public restrooms, a good friend and her DIL (daughter-in-law) suggest wearing Depends. I also learned about a variety of female “emergency go” devices. A whole new industry. The good news is that since my July trip, public restrooms seem to be less risky than initially thought. Of course, careful hand washing, sanitizing and masks are essential. If you like french fries with your rest stop… McDonald’s bathrooms now have foot pulls on their doors! No need to touch door handles.

How likely am I to transmit COVID-19 to the kids? 

Here’s how I determined that the risk that I would transmit COVID-19 was relatively low (no guarantees!):

• • COVID-19 percent positive at home:  Less than 5% where I live, and was not increasing. More info about rates here.
  • Personal exposure: Low. We were pretty much self-isolating at home. No stores or restaurants.
  • Carefulness measure: High. Both my husband and I practice the CDC 3: Washing hands, masks and social distancing.

To test or not to test?

Back in July, it was harder to get a COVID-19 test without having symptoms. And, test results were not available for at least 5 days. So, I did not get tested. Will I get tested before and after my next visit? Yes. Although false negatives do occur, testing can help guide preventive measures. Luckily, testing is more feasible now.

What is the infection rate where I am going?

I researched the positivity numbers up north including if the numbers were going up or down. Fortunately, all the states I traveled through had rates well below my 5% threshold.

How much Risk to others would i pose when i return? 

Tricky. And scary. Being part of the sandwich generation, many of us also want to consider the potential impact to older parents living nearby. Testing and self-isolating help protect others. Because my mom and my husband are both in high risk categories, I decided to self-isolate when I returned home.

It’s a GO. Where to Stay?  

Another tough question. I found inns with private entrances and contactless check-in. Innkeepers were more than happy to accommodate my request to open the windows before I arrived. For another option, Airbnb tags some hosts with higher COVID-19 prevention cleaning standards designated as Super Host. With uncertainties of hotel lobbies and elevators, I preferred to stay in an Airbnb or small inn. As noted by the medical director of University Hospitals Roe Green Center for Travel Medicine & Global Health in Cleveland, “The ideal situation would be an Airbnb or a rental that had been empty for a couple of days.”

Hug or No Hug?

Honestly, this was the hardest. Back in July, a special friend who’s an emergency room nurse educator urged me to be cautious with hugs – Ouch! Her rule with young kids is “no shmushing faces”. Instead, we hugged legs and turned heads. Next visit, if all the adults test negative, I will definitely reconsider face shmushing.

During Our Visit

Everyone was super careful. Wash hands. Sanitize. Masks. Distance. Stay outdoors. On my visit, we walked around Newport, RI. The next day, we hiked in a nearby forest. When my northern DIL parent’s visited, they all went apple picking. J-O-Y.  For more tips on staying safe with outdoor activities and more ideas, see this article from Cleveland Clinic. Remember, take time before you leave to plan for virtual visits!

To Sum It Up:  Weigh RIsks.  Be sensible.  Consider Joy.

Yes, fear is at every turn. These are hard decisions with no guarantees. Dr. Halee Fischer-Wright, a nationally-recognized pediatrician, suggests 3 questions to consider when deciding what is ok and what is not ok for your family during COVID-19. Put another way, what’s right for each individual child and family depends on individual factors. This is true whether deciding if a child should return to school or whether we grandparents should travel to visit grandkids.

Consider each risk factor: personal, environmental and other key considerations such as high risk family members. Then, weigh the risks together with the need or desire to visit as well life balance factors such as joy and timing.

And finally, I offer words of wisdom from my mom’s geriatrician: “Be sensible. Take precautions. Look at the broader view: Being isolated from loved ones is not healthy either. It’s important to have good times to look forward to.  We all need joy.” In other words, as my spirited internist friend said as I was deciding about my July trip, “You’ve gotta live”.

Have you traveled to see kids and grands? Did someone advise you not to travel? We’d love to hear any experiences you’d like share. And until your next in-person visit, check out our activity ideas such as virtual storytime, create a fairy garden and cook together while apart!